Get Your Joke on

Love is not for all

Love is for some

Love makes you fall

Love makes you come

Love can be good

Love can be bad

Love can be happy

Love can be sad

Love comes in spurts

When you least expect

the best thing after

is the make up sex

JaMiSoN JoKEs

Q. What's six inches long, two inches wide, and drives women wild?
A. Money

Toilet Paper
Whats dumb? Instructions on toilet paper.
Whats dumber than that? reading them.
Whats even dumber? Reading them and learning something.
Dumbest of all? Reading them and having to correct something you've been doing wrong.

Twins
When I was born, the doctor took one look at my face, turned me over and said, "Look ... twins!"

Blood Test
Two children were sitting outside a clinic. One of them was crying very loudly.
2nd Child: Why are you crying?

1st Child: I came here for a blood test.

2nd Child: So? Are you afraid?

1st Child: No. For the blood test, they cut my finger.

At this, the second one started crying profusely.

The first one was astonished.

1st Child: Why are you crying now?

2nd Child: I came for a urine test !

How are a Texas tornado and a Tennessee divorce the same?
Either way, somebody's gonna lose a trailer.

How is a man like the weather?
Nothing can be done to change either one of them.

You've all heard that behind every great man is a woman, but you may not have heard that behind every great woman is some guy staring at her ass.

His aunt asked him, "You're a homosexua l? Are you seeing a psychiatrist?"
"No," Mikey said, "I'm seeing a lieutenant in the army."

There are two things men really want women to do in a hurry.
Dress
&
Undress !

Girls are like internet domain names...
The ones I like are already taken.

Policeman: You cant park your car here.
Driver: Why not?
Policeman: Read that sign.
Driver: I did. it says, "Fine for parking", so I parked.

Q: What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?
A: Frostbite.

Q: What did the blonde name her pet zebra?
A: Spot.

Q. Why does it take longer to build a blond snowman?
A. Because you have to hollow the head out.

Q. What is the only game in which the more you lose, the more you have to show for it?
A. Strip Poker

Q. What's the difference between a good lawyer and a great lawyer?
A. A good lawyer knows the law, but a great lawyer knows the judge.

Q. What do you call an intelligent, good looking, sensitive man?
A. A rumor

Q. What do tight pants and a cheap motel have in common?
A. No ball room

Q. Why was Tigger's head in the toilet?
A. He was looking for pooh!

Q. Why does a squirrel swim on its back?
A. To keep its nuts dry.

Q. Our baby was born last week. When will my wife begin to feel and act normal again?
A. When the kids are in college.

Q. Did you hear about the guy who died of Viagra overdose?
A. They couldn't close his casket

Q. Why didn't JFK Jr. and his wife have a shower before getting on the plane?
A. They figured they would wash up on shore!

Q. What did Saddam say when he came out of his hole?
A. Did I beat David Blaine?

By yOuR BOy JaMISOn Ak@ Smoove Bk@ JAMEZ & DG

yo mom is like the bronx zoo stinky and free on wednesdays

What does your mother and x-Box hAvE In cOmmoN?beCaUsE LiL KiDs tRuN ThEm oN.

Q. What does Star Trek and toilet paper have in common?
A. They both circle Uranus looking for Black Holes.

Q. What's the difference between an oral and a rectal thermometer?
A. The taste!

I've got no problem buying tampons. I'm a modern man.
But apparently they're not a "proper" present

I live near a remedial school.
There's a sign on the road outside that says, "SLOW CHILDREN".
That can't be good for their self-esteem.
Yo mamma so stupid, she tried to commit suicide by jumping out her basement window

Yo mamma so ugly, she got arrested for mooning when she looked out a window.

Yo mama's so fat she had her ears pierced by harpoon.

Yo mama's so fat she needs a watch on both arms because she covers two time zones.

Yo mama's so fat she needs a hula hoop to keep up her socks.

I think men who have pierced ears are better prepared for marriage. They have experience pain and bought jewelry.

When I was born, the doctor took one look at my face, turned me over and said, "Look ... twins!"

Whats dumb? Instructions on toilet paper.
Whats dumber than that? reading them.

Whats even dumber? Reading them and learning something.

Dumbest of all? Reading them and having to correct something you've been doing wrong.

A woman who is tired of having a guy hit on her says, "Look ... I'm sorry, but I'm just not your type. I'm not inflatable"

A woman who is tired of having a guy hit on her says, "Look ... I'm sorry, but I'm just not your type. I'm not inflatable"

Yo Mama is So Fat...
she was born with a silver shovel in her mouth
she needs a hula-hoop for a belly button ear ring

-she rolled over 4 quarters and made it a dollar
Yo Mama is So Stupid...

Yo mama so stupid she got locked in a grocery store and starved!
Yo mama so stupid that she tried to put M&M's in alphabetical order!
Yo mama so stupid she bought a solar-powered flashlight!
Yo mama so stupid she thinks a quarterback is a refund!
Yo mama so stupid that she sold the car for gas money.
Yo mama so stupid that she ran into an automatic sliding door.
Yo mama so stupid that she tried to drown a fish.
Yo mama so stupid she asked you "What is the number for 911"
Yo mama so stupid she took a ruler to bed to see how long she slept.
Yo mama so stupid she got stabbed in a shoot out.
Yo mama so stupid she stole free bread.
Yo mama so stupid she took a spoon to the superbowl.
Yo mama so stupid she called Dan Quayle for a spell check.
Yo mama so stupid she stepped on a crack and broke her own back.
Yo mama so stupid she thought she needed a token to get on Soul Train.
Yo mama so stupid she thought an elevator was a mobile home.
Yo mama so stupid she took the Pepsi challenge and chose Jif.
Yo mama so stupid she thinks Fleetwood Mac is a new hamburger at McDonalds!
Yo mama so stupid she sits on the TV, and watches the couch!
Yo mama so stupid that she thought Boyz II Men was a day care center.
Yo mama so stupid when she went to take the 44 bus, she took the 22 twice instead.
Yo mama so stupid she thought a quarterback was an income tax refund.
Yo mama so stupid she took a umbrella to see Purple Rain.
Yo mama so stupid that under "Education" on her job application, she put "Hooked on Phonics."
Yo mama so stupid she watches "The Three Stooges" and takes notes.
Yo mama so stupid she thought gangrene was another golf course.
Yo mama so stupid she couldn't read an audio book.
Yo mama so stupid she thought the Nazis were saying "Hi! Hitler".
Yo mama so stupid it take her a week to get rid of a 24hr virus.
Yo mama so stupid She has to ask for help to use hamburger helper.
Yo mama so stupid she asked me what kind of jeans I had on and I said "guess" so she said levi's.
Yo mama so stupid when she walked into Walgreens she said, "These walls ain't green!!"
Yo mama so stupid she put a quarter in a parking meter and she yelled "were's my gumball."
Yo mama so stupid that when she looked in the mirror, she said stop copying me!
Yo mama so stupid she brought toilet paper to a crap game.
Yo mama so stupid she asked for a price check at the $.99 store.
Yo mama so stupid she walked into an antique store and said what's new!
Yo mama so stupid she saw a sign that said "WET FLOOR", So she did.
Yo mama so stupid it took her 2 hours to watch 60 minutes.

Beach Channel High School * 100-00 Beach Channel Drive* Rockaway Park* NY *11694